I’m forgetting what that felt like to fail so completely at getting pg, to produce dozens of eggs and have maybe 2 at transfer if I were lucky. Canceled cycles, blood tests, tears, fears, anger, sadness it was my life but I’m sitting here and I know that it will always be a part of who I am but it’s not all I am anymore.(more I want to say on this another time)
I can raise my eyes to level and see the blobbies in the backyard with water pistols (yes I’m an evil mother I enjoy listening to my kids laugh whilst brandishing guns) squirting each other and poor Sam (dog) who can’t move quite fast enough to get away from them and Hairy who is doing his best to pretend they are in trouble, they are having a ball out there.
That’s my life now and while we have concerns and fears occasional glimpses of sadness and latent anger it’s minor and fleeting. Has enough time really passed that saying I’m HAPPY really means I’m happy not just lip service? stuff knows really but wow it feels good.
Now the object of my affection and the best medicine there is…. My blobbies at 2years 1 week (adjusted age) oh Jack’s head really isn’t wonky my phototaking skills are rather lacking.